shifting10: "sharing.speaking out.masking.or keeping inside..?"

[written on June 23, 2006. 4:39 PM]

" Open yourself up to the idea that expression is necessary to get you to the next level of happiness. In other words, for a healthier life, you need to share your feelings -- no matter what they are. Utilize your personality and express yourself in the best way you know how. Singing, dancing, cooking or even just goofing around are all great ways to display how you're feeling. If you keep your emotions inside or mask them, then you'll be wasting your time. "

this is wat my horoscope tells me today..

human, hv feelings..n we all noe about it.
we noe to feel hepy, noe to feel great,
noe to feel touched,
as well as to feel bad, down, sad, hurt, n blablabla..

for hepy n positive feelings, we love to share it out.
either to our best frenns, frenns, family,
as well as..the loved ones.
perhaps it's to share the happiness and the experiences,
perhaps its bcause'f the words, to b frank and to trust.
however for the other side of ur feelings,
which is more negative,
do u ever think of it bfor..?
shud it b shared as well?
or it shud rather b masked or kept inside wthout revealing..?

i did hv the experiences,perhaps. i doun really sure..
i used to keep everything inside..
tht was about 4-5 years ago.
everything here means, all the sadness n hurts i felt inside.
i was thinking tht i could avoid unnecessary quarrels..
n worked to turn things right again.
but finally, i suffered from Consequence A..
wth lots of unwillingness n regrets..

a year ago, i came to another situation.
i was asked to share n speak out everything inside.
it was been told tht things will thn work out.
"promise me..," u said. i've promised..
n during tht period, i've tried mybest to keep my promise.
i always remind myslf of ur words,
as well as the confidence tht u gave me,
whr i expect things will thn really goes right.
i was thinking tht i may deserved a Consequence B this time..
i tried to share out everything inside,
n its indeed almost everything inside.
but finally, again, i suffered from Consequence A..

since then, i'm kind'f lost..
no matter speaking out or keeping inside,
both seems to b d same consequence for me.
i'm completely blur..
n blur enuff to either trust, or not to trust.
do sharing n speaking out really works?
will things really turn up to be great n well at last..?
i doun think so, i really doun..

now, i doun even noe myslf anymore..
even me myslf also couldnt mk sure which is the real me.
is the normal n hepy one, who looks everything jz fine outside the real me.?
or the one who couldnt even control herslf to cry out loud from inside suddenly..?

* ChristinaNg