shifting7: "the distances.."

[written on April 25, 2006. 3:02 AM]

i noe..
i noe u r trying to keep urslf a distance from me..
its so hurt..its so bad..indeed.
but either u r purposely doing all tht for my own good,
or jz follow wat ur heart wants..
i noe..
i got no chance else..
but to join ur mission of keeping a distance..

i noe..all this while, although i've promised tht i woun bother u anymore..
but still, i cant control myslf of doing things tht related to u..
i noe i'm such annoying..
i noe i shudnt keep sms-ing u such way..
i noe i shudnt interrupt ur life anymore..
but still, dounno y..
i jz cant stop myslf from touching ur life...
i jz cant stop myslf from thinking n worrying about u..
i noe..i'm silly..
i noe..i'm stupid n annoying...

but today..i'm kind'f getting awake..
i told myslf..
this time, no matter wat, i hv to control myslf..
coz its really hurt,
whn thr's no response at all for my smses..
coz its really bad,
seeing u having ur daily life everyday like i'm not exist at all..
coz its really making me feel more worse..
whn i'm such invisible n unimportant at all for u...
all this things..
r making me feeling more worse n worst...
making me kind'f hating u more day by day..
i doun wish to be in such way..

so..i've dcided..i will try mybest of keeping a distance..
perhaps..i doun wish to hate u this way..
perhaps..i jz wish to at least keep all the better memories of u n me..
i doun wish to pollute our memories..
i doun wish to remain jz the hatred of me to u..
i doun wish to lost all the sweet memories of u n me..
i'v lost everything..
n i doun wish to lost all this as well..

so.. doun worry..
this time..i'l really try my best of keeping u a distance..
n after this holiday..our distance in between will get so much more further..physically..
perhaps..its really a good news n good solution for us..
by then..we'l get so far far away from each other..
so far far away...

i noe..
i feel so much unwillingness..
i feel so much pain inside..
but i noe.. i got no other choice..
but jz to keep a distance from u..
n hv my so-alone-life..all by my own...

but for the very last time..
my rouroulian..i really miss u so much..
n cheers, for the distance..


* ChristinaNg